Thursday, July 29, 2010

Avoid Contact with the Eyes

and other warnings about various subjects that may or may not affect your enjoyment of this blog.

On Punctuation and Style:

I like words. I like precise words. I'm years out of good writing practice, but think I may have missed a calling in technical writing. I'm dry.

I believe punctuation is an art. I compulsively substitute "furthermore" for semicolons and "and here it/they is/are" for colons to judge appropriate use thanks to those crazy Canadian Standard Deviants. I have a dangerous relationship with ellipses. Because they indicate the exclusion of extraneous material, I tend to (over)use them to portray breaks in thought. Sorry. I even tire myself with this... but I cannot stop...see?

You may have already noticed this, but I also have what could be considered an annoying appreciation and affinity for alliteration.

Oh yeah, and parallel structure makes my heart flutter.

On Writing about my Family:

I love them, but I don't gush. Don't think that I don't absolutely think that husband and kids are not the most special people inhabiting this planet. However, I know that you do not share that opinion, and I am a realist in some respects to a fault. I always feel like the mom who doesn't SEEM to love her kids as much as other moms. I like to think I have a decent grasp on what is special/meaningful/funny to just me, and when something they do or say would be damn funny to anyone. I always try to talk only about the latter. It's ok if you are one of those other moms. I don't judge.

On Politics:

Don't plan to write about this much...ever. But if you're curious, I'm easy: If you're conservative, you may think I'm liberal. If you're liberal, you would laugh at anyone who labeled me one. That's good. I hate labels, anyway.

On Religion:

Another topic I plan to avoid, but, like politics, it interests people. I love my church, St. John's Episcopal, and this joke will tell you as much as you need to know about how I feel:

A Baptist, a Catholic, and an Episcopalian meet Jesus at the gates of heaven.
Jesus asks the Baptist, "Who do you say that I am?"
Baptist replies, "Well, the Bible says..."
Jesus says, "I didn't ask what the Bible said," and poses the same question to the Catholic.
Catholic replies, "Well, the church says..."
Jesus cuts him off saying, "I didn't ask what the church said. Episcopalian, who do you say that I am?"
Episcopaian replies, "You are the Christ, the Son of God."
Jesus replies, "Very good. You are absolutely..."
Episcopalian interrupts, "But, on the other hand,..."


On the weight-loss front, I'm in the midst of a little 2-day experiment. Will report more and if it was worth it when I'm done.

Geez, I hope I never write anything with so many sentences beginning with "I" as long as I live...so much for my technical writing career.

Later,
Caroline

2 comments:

  1. Well, I'm ready to ditch the health blog and just write. On the other hand, there is no way for me to write in as fun of fashion as you, so I should stick with my health blog (oh and of course the techie one) Your blog is SO fun;)

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  2. You crack me up.

    I too have a "dangerous relationship" with ellipses (in fact all other punctuation keys on my keyboard are frozen from lack of use:). I don't mind...in fact i like it. But, i do imagine that our high school english teacher (aka your mother) hates them. lol...just a guess :o)

    alliteration is my fav!!

    keep it up...i enjoy how you explain your personality and beliefs and such...it's spot on!

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